This is essentially a collection of very brief album reviews that will be 1 to 6 sentences in length, and will typically take about a minute to read. They will rather sweepingly review their subject matter (current chart albums), condensing the reviewing process into a tiny little easy to swallow pill of information. They should not be supplemented for a varied diet of proper music reviews, however they do have a certain value in this uber-fast 24-hour life style we are all presumed to lead. Furthermore, they are typical in non-music based journalistic mediums (e.g. newspapers, fashion mags etc.) that feel they should add a splash of music for colour and variety. Therefore, my involvement in this new style of reviewing should also be considered to exemplify my diversity and ability to write about mainstream music for a mainstream audience. So I can cover whatever floats your boat, ya-know.
KINGS OF LEON - ONLY BY THE NIGHT
I am just a little bit staggered that this album is still in the charts. Released over a year ago, it is still only number fucking seven, which is a little bit insane for any album. The sad thing is this really isn’t Kings of Leon’s best work. Its ok as an album, and has some good tracks; “Use Somebody” in particular has a quiet beauty about it that is rather appealing, but ultimately this album has less of the charisma, humour, energy, pent-up angst, instrumental diversity and drive of the masterpieces that were albums 2 and 3. Which is a bit of a shame. Fingers crossed number 5 recaptures more of the old magic. 6/10
LADY GAGA - THE FAME
I would like to make a prediction that in the future whole books will be written about Lady Gaga, simply due to her proximity musically, stylistically and controversially to Madonna. Gaga certainly has interest in all these areas, especially her ridiculously fantastic stylistic narcissism, but her musical backing, whilst layered to buggery is still essentially quite simple dance-pop beats and synth shit, (much like the great Madge her self’s music often is). But therein lies the magic. Gaga’s music is simply repetitive, simply catchy, simply brilliant dancey poppy pop, and there aint nothing wrong with that. 8/10
BEATLES - ABBEY ROAD
Due to the ridiculous influx of Beatles’ albums into the charts at present, I felt it was right to go to the source of all this boring commotion and review the album that started it – Abbey fucking Road. Contrary to popular belief, The Beatles’ work is not beyond a 6 sentence review, so open your eyes baby; here it comes. This is one of the best Beatles’ albums instrumentally, with deep, grinding bass (certainly uncharacteristic for McCartney), interesting arrangements and indulgent but often beautiful and almost always accomplished guitar parts. The best work is that which has as little vocals as possible, namely “I Want You (She’s so Heavy)”, “Oh Darling” and “The End”, the worst being an inglorious return to an awful Beatles staple; the nursery rhyme song, ala “Octopuses Garden”, “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” and “Mean Mr. Mustard”. Whist this album is essentially quite heavy (a quality that I feel gives it more longevity than other Beatles’ albums), there are some beautifully delicate interludes, such as “Here Comes the Sun” and “Golden Slumbers”. Probably their best, but not the best.
N/B – I had to do this review from memory as I do not currently have Abbey Road on my computer and could not find any audio of it online but at all. ‘Cause you know, old Macca and Star are a bit paranoid they may not get every penny of their £500 million fortune. Understandably, of course. 8/10
