HERE COMES EVERYONE POST: Albums of the Decade - 2007

Vampire Weekend by Vampire Weekend
Here, Vampire Weekend present us with an attractive fusion of African polyrhythms, electro and classical-esque styles, which amalgamate neatly with typical indie fair in this gem of an album. The African Diasporic rhythm has significant relations to the Burundi beats of Malcolm McLaren, (as well as his 80’s side-projects such as Bow Wow Wow and Adam and the Ants), which thematically continues the later decade’s indie obsession with post-punk art rock. Interestingly though, unlike many of their musical peers, Vampire Weekend have here managed to create a thoroughly modern and hip affair which is not at all nostalgic. Thoughtful, yet incredibly happy, jolly music is offered that is always (quite literally) upbeat and makes you want to smile as much as dance. Production is slick and void of gimmicks, and the use of the string-synth timbres especially is technically and aurally excellent. Yes, it could be perceived as a bit preppy - indeed the lyrics are a positive flood of university references, which can become a bit staid when considered alongside the band’s penchant for arrogance. Clearly, Vampire Weekend think they’re very bloody clever, demonstrating typical we-are-the-enlightened-just-cause-we’ve-read-a-bit-of-Deleuze-and-Guattari style student wank. Freestanding, this kind of attitude is almost unbearable – fortunately the sheer joy experienced through listening to Vampire Weekend revokes any of this exterior unpleasantness. Just let this album wash over you like an aural happy pill; it’ll chase all your cares away.

Runner-up: Still Night, Still Light by Au Revoir Simone
This album from girly Brooklyn trio Au Revoir Simone is wonderfully whimsical, dainty and soft, with paper thin, compressed timbres. Gentle and self-effacing, it is beyond dreamy, yet remains rhythmically upbeat and thematically buoyant, never reducing itself to melancholy or negativity. Their lyrics and vocal style have a warm innocence, commanding minor keys instead of being consumed by them. Unassumingly this album will quietly sneak up on you and steal your heart.

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Also worthy of note:
The Seldom Seen Kid by Elbow
Santogold by Santogold

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HERE COMES EVERYONE POST: Albums of the Decade - 2007

Fur and Gold by Bat for Lashes
This hauntingly rich soundscape of an album is certainly the most innovate, curious and different release of 2007. Perhaps the most successful and potent example of the later decades trend for cool, vulnerable and aesthetically lavish musical packages, (think Florence and the Machine, Marina and the Diamonds, etc. etc.), Bat for Lashes creates an opulent yet refined and subtle audio and visual experience. The timbres all hark from a cool, eerie, stark place that creates a collective ambience of bewitching fragility that is truly feminine and not at all girly. The artistic and creative control that Khan has over every aspect of Bat of Lashes has been successfully measured, yet has all the authenticity and passion of an intelligent, creative lady who really knows what she is doing.
The album is strong musically speaking, with Khan playing a lot of the instruments herself. The sound is typically an infusion of classical, ambient and electro, with clear relations to Bjork and PJ Harvey amongst others. The production is great too; deep yet acute layers of sound are combined with beautifully recorded vocals that are captured with such accuracy it feels like Natasha Khan is literally sing in your ear; a special private performance where you can experience every minute click, pop and gasp. A subtly enjoyable and touching auditory experience.

Runner-up: White Chalk by PJ Harvey
Being such a distinct departure from her slightly staid grunge inspired indie, this album was not always well received by expectant (and perhaps stagnant) fans. However, I personally feel this is Harvey’s best album, with a more modern, fresh sound than previous works. Abandoning the guitar, her instrumental mainstay, for the piano, Harvey creates delicate ballads with high-pitched fragile vocals that connect with her twisted lyrics as well as her previous penchant for banish-like snarling. Harvey’s work has always captured female angst perfectly; here she captures our introspective vulnerability. “When Under Ether” is a particular highlight.
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Also worthy of note:
Weekend in the City by Bloc Party
Icky Thump by The White Stripes

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HERE COMES EVERYONE POST: Albums of the Decade - 2004

Franz Ferdinand by Franz Ferdinand
Yes I know that by 2005 we had all got a bit tired of hearing this album, but this time media over-kill was completely justified. This debut release by Franz Ferdinand was such a huge breath of fresh air – interesting, upbeat, youthful, cool music for the cool kids, not boring dance or “slow-jams” for the chavs and the tasteless. This was art rock nouveau-stylee, not just recycling the bloody Beatles again. Plus it contained real instruments and real musicians really playing them. I would not of course be as narrow minded as to suggest that all music must have guitars and guitarists and real drums etc., but circa 2004 the only guitars in the charts were attached to either Busted or The Darkness. Boo indeed.
On a further note, the music is actually really really good. Accomplished musicianship, with properly diverse riffs and techniques, and enjoyable melodies and hooks that not only make you want to move but also make you smile. Songs and even verses/choruses are diverse rhythmically and ambiently, with some fast and relentless, some with a more complex and slightly mardy quality. Perhaps they could have been a bit more diverse with the guitar timbres, but it is a small niggle. Ultimately this album was one of the most significant catalysts for the guitar based indie-pop that has reined for the last 6 years. I can’t really say much more on this little beauty - anyway you get the jist, you all know how good it is anyway.

Runner-up: Funeral by The Arcade Fire
Admittedly, musically and lyrically Funeral is much better than Franz Ferdinand. This is a charming, yet poignant album, which is a truly accomplished fantastical feat of musicianship, with as marvelously diverse instruments as viola, melodeon and French horn. It is passionate and painful, and perfectly captures the tender conception of the album for the group; evoking a bittersweet, detached sense of numbness that is surely familiar to us all. Rich, poignant, attractive and innovate, Funeral is a truly remarkable album; Franz trumped this year very slimly, essentially because of the joie de vivre and influence they begot through their eponymous.

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Also worthy of note:
You are the Quarry by Morrissey
The Futureheads by The Futureheads

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HERE COMES EVERYONE POST: Albums of the Decade - 2000

This album was the most commercially successful of Moloko’s four releases. However, whilst some of the derived singles achieved a certain amount of ubiquity in the afore mentioned year, throughout the decade this album seems to have declined in popularity towards partial obscurity. Certainly, this demise is not warranted in relation to the musical content. Here, Moloko present us with a curious diversity of instruments and a positive abundance of effects, both subtle and overt - from copious varieties of reverb and compression, to backward tape effects. Furthermore, the track lengths are also diverse, from “Keep Stepping” at 0.21 to “Sing it Back” at 9.20, which adds a supplementary degree of intrigue and staves off format monotony for the listener. The numerous musical styles contained within this album is also something to hail as impressive; through their 70 odd minutes, the band progress though versionings of acoustic, funk, electro, muzak, rock, pop, classical, and quasi through to full on dance. The literal space of the tracks is changeable too, with saturated, heavy tracks, to lonely, sparse songs and segways.
An additional virtue, Roisin Murphy’s voice is gorgeously broad with a slight raspy quality; sometimes soft, delicate and sensual, at others whining, taught, and penetratingly, twistingly percussive. She also has a notable range, which she regularly utilizes. Furthermore, the content of her vocals are typically accomplished; lyrically Moloko’s work here is strong. Whilst the dancier numbers may have a bit more repetition than the average indie listener can tolerate, most of this album is lyrically assorted and interesting.
This is a great album - a pure, fun little thing, which does not get the full recognition it deserves. This is not necessarily an album for everyone – it twists and turns so much that many may be disappointed with certain elements. It is however an album I have continued to return to, relish and enjoy for 10 years, and I feel it has many more juicy musical fruits to be unearthed by a wider audience.

Runner-up: Since I Left You by The Avalanches
Another 2000 group that have dismissed into (in this case complete) obscurity is The Avalanches, with Since I Left You being their only official release. This album perfectly examples how wonderfully subtle sample based music can be. Never heavy-handed or arrogant, throughout this album carefully selected samples are gorgeously fused in a heady ambient mix, wrapping you up in a soft, comfortable sonic blanket. The title track could be likened to aural Valium. There are additionally some competent dance tracks in the album’s midst, which are actually enjoyable to listen to as well get rhythmically involved in. Truly one of the sounds of 2000, if only because Sara Cox never stopped playing it on the breakfast show
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Also worthy of note:
Music by Madonna
Stankonia by OutKast

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One Minute Wonders: Singles Division

Best and worst for week ending 20th December 2009

Best. Number 32. TAKEN BY TREES - "SWEET CHILD O' MINE"
Whilst this track has essentially gained popularity through being on an advert (which some more militant musos tend to dislike on principle) this version is actually a really good cover. Delicate female acoustica just does not seem to get old and this track has a really beautiful, gentle, unassuming quality that the Guns and Roses original always seemed to covertly strive for but never actually came close to genuinely achieving. This Taken by Trees version adds a whole new dimension to the track, and on an additional note I must say it was perfectly chosen for the advert it originally featured in. Yes, the piano version of that famous lead riff probably is a bit easier than on the guitar, but come on, the guitar version isn't really that hard or impressive to play, and you - uncool southern hick, you need to get over it. Taken by Trees have here unearthed the beautiful base quality of the song that is considerably hidden by Axel Rose's awful vocal style and Guns and Roses general penchant for heavy metal gaudiness.

Worst. Number 9. CHUCKIE & LMFAO - "LET THE BASS KICK IN MIAMI GIRL"
Whilst the fact that this track entered the charts at no 9 is pretty impressive, it is also incredibly depressive, as "Let the Bass…" truly is utter shit from start to finish, in its entirety and on every level of instrumentation and composition. The lead synth is of an awful, headache inducing timbre - the kind of dreadful high frequency sawtooth wave that cuts through you, as well as embarrassing you with its archaic-ness. There are so few timbres in the track - it actually only has about 4 instruments, which for a "techno" track is pretty fucking lazy, and further indicates how this track is truly limited to the late 90's themed dustbin. I actually feel like I want to kill the idiots who made this - that is the kind of mind numbing aggression this music generates. Without wanting to fall into the typical cliché, this music is purely designed for the kind of nasty chav kids that like to trash respectable people's cars. That or people who have candy floss for brains and really like shiny things and bright colours.

Review: 1 Minute Wonders - Albums Division

CATHERINE JENKINS - THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION
To be honest I am completely and utterly immune to the apparent appeal of Catherine Jenkins. Her participation in the bizarre commercial desire for dull compilations of over-played pop ballads, songs from musicals and opera-lite in a classical (typically soprano) style is at best tiresome and boring and at worst utter trash. Jenkins’ appeal seems to derive from her inoffensive persona, which shepherds grannies and dull mums to buy her records in droves. Her success certainly cannot be put down to her singing ability, which is completely unremarkable and would be put to immense shame if she were ever compared to a real opera singer. This is essentially in-offensive coma music for people who don’t really like or get music generally and are just in want of something to put on in the background instead of Coronation Street. If this sounds like you then you will probably enjoy it. 2/10


JAY-Z - THE BLUEPRINT 3
Jay-Z’s new album demonstrates well a continued softening in attitude of Mr Carter’s music as he gets older. His work has become more accessible and pop-orientated, which far from being a bad thing make this album enjoyably melodic whilst maintaining a distinct edge, much like that of early hip-hop from way back when. The samples in here are particularly great, and with a virtual plethora of stars from the world of hip-hop vying for a space on his new release, the album has a diverse quality that each separate guest star brings. Some are more successful than others - Rihanna’s involvement in the album, for example, could only really be enjoyed by fans of the singer; I personally feel the whiny mediocrities her vocals bring are not a plus. Conversely, Alicia Keys’ involved in The Blueprint 3’s lead single “Empire State of Mind” is fantastic, and this track generally has a real ambiance and personality that makes this one of Jay-Z’s best tracks for a while. So generally a good return from one of the expert rappers and producers in hip-hop. 7/10

One Minute Wonders: Singles Division

Best and worst for week ending 22nd November

Best. Number 11. LADY GAGA - "BAD ROMANCE"
Lady Gaga is curious anomaly as something in the music world that is stupendously popular, yet simultaneously of good quality and intrigue. Her tracks may not exactly contain the most wondrous prose or harmony, but she creates damn good catchy pop, of which "Bad Romance" is yet another example of that special kind of genius that Gaga seems to naturally harbour. The chorus here is yet again a ridiculous earworm, and she also continues to slot in covert self-referencing that only Gaga would have the appealing egotism to throw into the mix. The track has an interesting rhythmic quality and some curious timbres, such as the eerie synthetic harpsichord during the intro and outro, and it also has a vague Latino quality deep within its midst. With a fanatically stylised video sporting a cast worthy of The Mighty Boosh, this is another Gaga gem within the rough that is the top 40.

Worst: Number 31. DAVID GUETTA FT AKON - "SEXY CHICK/BITCH"
Whilst Guetta's popularity seems to swell continuously, his musical merits are still considerably lacking within this release. The timbres that saturate this mix are dull and over-used, whilst Akon's lyrical contributions would appear to have derived from the dawdlings of some mentally defunct, embarrassingly sleazy simpleton who has the vocabulary and charisma of an Indonesian pirate. I additionally do not approve of the manner in which Akon (and indeed the RnB/hip-hop world generally) throws the word bitch around so gratuitously it becomes a pseudonym for women everywhere. It is not ok, it is offensive. Whilst Guetta has personally self-proclaimed his stylistic similarities to uber-producers such as N.E.R.D and Timberland, ultimately this track examples perfectly that Guetta is a DJ, not a producer or a musician, and perhaps he should fuck off back to Ibiza, where his particular brand of nondescript euro dance should remain in full hibernation.

Review: 1 Minute Wonders - Albums Division

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS - I TOLD YOU I WAS FREAKY
This album has obviously spawned from the second series of the fantastic television programme from HBO, and it is perhaps unnecessary to state that this album is very funny lyrically, full of jokes and belly laughs. But unlike a lot of comedy records The Conchords’ work does not get tiresome after a few listens. The instrumentation is not only competent but also truly listenable, and has added musical references and parodies to keep any muso amused again and again. This album has more musical and conceptual depth than would appear at face value and certainly maintains its own musical merits that are independent of the TV show. The tracks are perhaps not quite as universally strong or catchy as the first album/series, but through continued familiarity with the new stuff, this second album will probably become just as robust a work as previous endeavours.  7/10


THE TEMPER TRAP – CONDITIONS
The Temper Trap fall quite easily within the new wave of electro indie music that is currently very hip and cool. The variety of synth timbres and usage within this new quasi genre is an interesting and refreshing reprise from the guitar-dominated noughties, and is certainly an apparent quality within this début release from the Australians. The instrumentation is rather creative at times, and the production is very tight with some fantastically precise guitar tones especially. The continuous chorus lead vocals do get a bit repetitive at times, however, and the lyrics, especially during chorus sections are at times weak and un-endearingly repetitive. There are some very good, beautiful tracks from this release; “Down River” and “Sweet Disposition” are particularly captivating; but generally this album does fall a little bit short of expectations, containing less intrigue and charisma than many of its new wave counterparts. 5/10

Article: Girls Aloud - A Comment on the Changing Etiquette of Gigs

Reflecting over the past decade, as one does in these situations, it struck me as particularly notable how the general atmosphere and conduct at gigs has changed quite dramatically over the past ten years. Once upon a time in the early noughties, when I was a little wee teenager embarking on my own independent musical life, gigs were generally pretty horrible places to be. They were smelly, sweaty, aggressive, heavy places, in which only the strongest and stubbornest of girlfriends could prevail. Gigs were a serious boy zone, with most of the girls present only being there in order to impress (or keep happy) some current beau.


Spin the clock forward ten years, and gigs are certainly becoming softer places to frequent. When I recall my most recent gigging experience (Passion Pit at the O2 in Oxford last month), the venue was of a far more female friendly orientation. I would say a good third of the audience was female, and a particular thing that got me was how very lovely they were all turned out, with these gorgeously pretty dresses and heels and what not. My exact thoughts before leaving were ‘don’t wanna dress too nice; it is a gig after all. T-shirt and jeans, me thinks’. How very archaic of me. The girls were not the only difference however; the venue too was dramatically different to early gigging experiences. The drink was not just warm lager, and the toilets - my god they had soap and paper and locks and cubicle doors and everything. They were actually nice - even my most girly friends would have found them acceptable. Conversely, at my first gig (the Inner City Sumo Tour featuring A and Goldfinger at Brixton Academy) only one toilet had a door and the walls were nearly black with graffiti. This wasn’t necessarily a problem for me, but for most ladies such an environment is a definite no-no.


So what exactly has changed in the gigging arena over the past ten years to make live music consumption more universal accessible? It cannot simply be that my tastes have changed; whilst there still certainly remains some of the more unappetising gigging experience out there, music venues and the people who go to them have to a notable extent cleaned up their act. Much of this change could certainly be equated with money. Gigging is a seriously big business these days, much bigger than a decade ago. With the massive germination of festival culture in the noughties, through which new festivals spring up every year, live music consumption is no longer a realm purely for musos and teenagers. And because the gigging demographic has changed, the venues and the general atmosphere has too.


But capital cannot take all the credit for this change. In my opinion, the revision of the general etiquette of gigging has in fact derived ultimately from a change in the style of the music itself, which has gone on to affect everything from general accessibility to toilet cleaning rotas. At the beginning of the decade “gigs” were for the most part confined to the rock genre. Obviously big acts and pop stars did tours of giant venues, just like they do today, but popular music was generally dance or garage orientated, which was mostly restricted to clubs and did not typically venture into the live genre but at all. If you liked guitar music, you had to look across the pond to America, which produced an array of masculine orientated, guitar centric rock. This was essentially men’s/boy’s music, and you were specifically branded as a rock-chick/tom-boy if you were a female oriented towards this type of music. Today, whilst there are still influxes of American “rock” which typically takes a masculine stance (albeit often through the well beaten track that is emo, which for all its vulnerability still essentially has a masculine bias), a lot of today’s music has a more multifaceted approach, taking on aspects of indie, pop and electro amongst others. This new wave of popular rock (if you can really classify it as “rock”) is incredibly popular, and as it is diverse in its complexities, from the very poppy Little Boots to the super-electro Max Tundra, there is usually something for all tastes. This diversification and amalgamation of genres inclines towards a softening of rock, which (stereotypically, perhaps) indicates a feminisation of rock. The hard, phallic edge of the rock guitar has been quashed by the more polyphonic, rhythmic, physical nature of electro and pop, therefore making it more female. The most popular gigging music now is our new wave, which is a more balanced, dynamic creature that harbours both masculine and feminine qualities. And clearly, the rise of femininity with music has not been lost by women, who are now flocking to gigs like it’s the new clubbing.

Review: 1 Minute Wonders - Albums Division

PALOMA FAITH – DO YOU WANT THE TRUTH OR SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL?
Whilst I am not necessarily against Paloma Faith and her work, I also think it is difficult to find something especially notable about her. Her work certainly has some lyrical credibility and depth, but whilst she is certainly trying very hard to be interesting, I’m afraid for me she falls short of genuine intrigue, both musically and personally. It feels like she has selected aspects from different artists; her vocals have a bit too much of the Winehouse about them, she samples lashings from Roisin Murphy’s wardrobe, and something indistinct I can’t quite place, but am pretty certain is not organic to Miss Faith. She is certainly listenable, indeed there is a gentle, unassuming quality about her that is quite endearing, and additionally her album/single artwork is often very curious and attractive. However, I feel Paloma and her music are missing something that makes her ultimately a bit lack lustre. “New York” is alright though. 4/10


BOWLING FOR SOUP – SORRY FOR PARTYIN’
Most famous in the UK for their righteous single “Girl all the Bad Guys Want” back in 2003, Bowling for Soup return with their eighth full-length album this month, which has entered the hot 100 this week off the back off their UK mini-tour. The new album continues with the group’s pop punk trend, consisting of constricted, whiny American vocals, naughty school boy lyrics, contemplative middle eights, and guitar riff heavy segways. A good 18 tracks long, you get a lot of pop punk for you money. “My Wena” in particular is a notable highlight, not just for obvious innuendo relate aspects, but because of the enjoyable, competent instrumentation. As albums go, Sorry for Partin’ certainly isn’t gonna break any boundaries, but it does deliver what pop punk intends to do; cute, fun, accessible guitar music that harbours a fantastically charismatic adolescent quality. Why not, I say, why not! 7/10

Article: Ready? Then let synchronise voices – now!

One of my major pet peeves at the moment is bad sound in adverts. As you may or may not know, I do have a bit if a problem with the general shit-ness of most adverts anyway, but this newly developed dislike is quite specific, and to describe it as aptly as possible, I’m afraid I have had to raid the old student text vaults and reference an old friend, Monsieur Michel Chion. To explain precisely my annoyance, I must borrow a word Chion specifically developed in Audio Vision, that of synchresis, meaning  ‘the spontaneous and irresistible weld produced between a particular auditory phenomenon and visual phenomenon when they occur at the same time’ . Audio synchresis occurs literally all the time - it is essentially the way that audio overdubs, sound effects and the like are synchronised to match our expectations in relation to the visual information on screen. When it works, we don’t notice it; it is a subtle but exact creative process that we tend to only detect when it is done inaccurately. We are perhaps most familiar with a lack of audio synchresis through the cliché of badly dubbed kung-fu movies, but recently it has been creeping in in a covert way to general advertising for main-stream UK companies. There are a few adverts in particular whose audio synchresis is so shoddy it is actually embarrassing that they think such cheap, naive methods will “work” on us.


To demonstrate, there have been two major synchresis perps in the advertising world in recent weeks; PC world and Kingsmill. Let start with Kingsmill. Cast your minds back to the most recent lot of Kingsmill adverts, bizarrely titled “Kingsmill Confessions”. There is one particular advert where a dad and his son return home from football and eat the mum’s sandwich, presumably because they just couldn’t resist shitty old Kingsmill and not ‘cause they were hungry from physical exercise. Over the top of the visuals is an overdubbed narrative-style voice-over of the dad confessing his Kingsmill sins. My major problem with this advert is that the overdubbed voice is that of Timothy Spall. Timothy Spall isn’t actually in the adverts visually, just some specky bald bloke playing the dad. Watching this advert therefore really jarrs any possible naturality and audio-visual synchronisation for me because the bloke on screen is evidently not Timothy Spall, who has a very distinguishable and memorable voice. The lack of synchresis is astounding to me as it is such a simple problem to fix - you just have to make the image match the sound. I don’t give two shits if you have got Timothy bloody Spall as the voice-over and that he is really very bloody good, using his voice doesn’t fucking work within your concept. You need to pick one or the other, otherwise you might as well have a picture of a cat meowing with a dog barking over the top of it. The two entities do not cohere, they do not make sense, and it does not work as a combined effort.


I was further aggravated recently by PC World. Initially, their new series of “My World…” adverts were badly synchronised in a rather subtle form: they had a clip of a curly haired blonde guy talking about his world/pc world which wasn’t quite dubbed properly and was so closed miked that it was as if he was speaking right into your ear. Quite simply, it sounded like it was recorded in a vacuum – unnatural with none of the general sonic ambience necessary for the illusion of audio normality. Whilst this was a bit shit, you could just about excuse it as a post-production error that they couldn’t be arsed to put right. Indeed, they probably realised it didn’t work because their new adverts don’t have any actual people in them at all, usually just pictures of their products. The new adverts don’t really work either though. Like Kingsmill they typically use well know voices, often with serious syncresis problems. Another particular advert from a few weeks ago springs to mind; one of a crazy student with desperately typically messy hair printing a photo of himself after a night at the SU Bar. And the famous voice-over? Why it was only Will from the fucking Inbetweeners! And he has very tidy, sensible hair, thank-you very much. The notion of a typical wanker student returning from a “messy” night at the SU does not fuse with the potent character of Will that so readily jumps to mind when one hear his (again) quite distinctive voice.


For me these errors are really inexcusable. Audio syncresis in some form will have been taught to the people in charge of the sound production on these adverts, so either they are simple charlatans who really aren’t good at their jobs, or the senior copywriter for whatever advert in question just doesn’t give two shits about any kind of vital audio-visual cohesion. I find this very odd (since advertising is a multi-billion pound/dollar industry), why this very noticeable, yet very easy to fix problem is still so prevalent. It happens all the time in adverts, yet it simply wouldn’t be tolerated in films. Fair enough, films are more specifically creative works where such things as syncresis are vital for general plot continuity and audience absorption. But as we are subject to adverts dozens of time everyday, must we have to continually tolerate some complacent, poor quality article masquerading as something worthy of our attention? Sigh. I know there are more important things in the world than this that need sorting, but if people are going to forge a living out of enabling people to flog their stuff, one should at least get the simple stuff right and therefore generally do it properly. Otherwise it’s the creative/audio equivalent of the guy who always fills the same form out wrong or constantly leaves the photocopier jammed. And no one wants to be that guy.

Review: 1 Minute Wonders - Albums Division

This is essentially a collection of very brief album reviews that will be 1 to 6 sentences in length, and will typically take about a minute to read. They will rather sweepingly review their subject matter (current chart albums), condensing the reviewing process into a tiny little easy to swallow pill of information. They should not be supplemented for a varied diet of proper music reviews, however they do have a certain value in this uber-fast 24-hour life style we are all presumed to lead. Furthermore, they are typical in non-music based journalistic mediums (e.g. newspapers, fashion mags etc.) that feel they should add a splash of music for colour and variety. Therefore, my involvement in this new style of reviewing should also be considered to exemplify my diversity and ability to write about mainstream music for a mainstream audience. So I can cover whatever floats your boat, ya-know.


KINGS OF LEON - ONLY BY THE NIGHT
I am just a little bit staggered that this album is still in the charts. Released over a year ago, it is still only number fucking seven, which is a little bit insane for any album. The sad thing is this really isn’t Kings of Leon’s best work. Its ok as an album, and has some good tracks; “Use Somebody” in particular has a quiet beauty about it that is rather appealing, but ultimately this album has less of the charisma, humour, energy, pent-up angst, instrumental diversity and drive of the masterpieces that were albums 2 and 3. Which is a bit of a shame. Fingers crossed number 5 recaptures more of the old magic. 6/10


LADY GAGA - THE FAME
I would like to make a prediction that in the future whole books will be written about Lady Gaga, simply due to her proximity musically, stylistically and controversially to Madonna. Gaga certainly has interest in all these areas, especially her ridiculously fantastic stylistic narcissism, but her musical backing, whilst layered to buggery is still essentially quite simple dance-pop beats and synth shit, (much like the great Madge her self’s music often is). But therein lies the magic. Gaga’s music is simply repetitive, simply catchy, simply brilliant dancey poppy pop, and there aint nothing wrong with that. 8/10


BEATLES - ABBEY ROAD
Due to the ridiculous influx of Beatles’ albums into the charts at present, I felt it was right to go to the source of all this boring commotion and review the album that started it – Abbey fucking Road. Contrary to popular belief, The Beatles’ work is not beyond a 6 sentence review, so open your eyes baby; here it comes. This is one of the best Beatles’ albums instrumentally, with deep, grinding bass (certainly uncharacteristic for McCartney), interesting arrangements and indulgent but often beautiful and almost always accomplished guitar parts. The best work is that which has as little vocals as possible, namely “I Want You (She’s so Heavy)”, “Oh Darling” and “The End”, the worst being an inglorious return to an awful Beatles staple; the nursery rhyme song, ala “Octopuses Garden”, “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” and “Mean Mr. Mustard”. Whist this album is essentially quite heavy (a quality that I feel gives it more longevity than other Beatles’ albums), there are some beautifully delicate interludes, such as “Here Comes the Sun” and “Golden Slumbers”. Probably their best, but not the best.
N/B – I had to do this review from memory as I do not currently have Abbey Road on my computer and could not find any audio of it online but at all. ‘Cause you know, old Macca and Star are a bit paranoid they may not get every penny of their £500 million fortune. Understandably, of course. 8/10

Reviewer: Ready for the weaker album? (Geddit?!) Reviewing Ready for the Weekend by Calvin Harris.

As someone whose musical preferences generally originate from a rock heritage, it may surprise you that I am not necessarily against dance music… in theory. I certainly agree that the concept of music designed specifically to enable dancing and the enjoyment of physicality is a positive thing that should not to be routinely scoffed at. Unfortunately, I personally find most dance music is fatally context bound, in that it works when you are at a club dancing, but is a bit useless when listening to in your car or on the bus. Indeed, as a highly physical music it has always stuck me as a bit odd that people would buy dance music to listen to in said environments, where your physicality is notably restricted. Even more tragic however is the abysmal quality of so much dance music. Often quite literally formulaic, as well as tedious and dull, with cheap timbres and clichéd lyrics, 90% of commercial club music is not only unlistenable, but actually really fucking boring to dance to.


In contrast, much of Calvin Harris’ music, though thoroughly entrenched in dance culture, is typically not boring or dull, and is often not only danceable, but highly listenable too. Its not exactly IDM (that’s intelligent dance music to you uninitiated), but I get the impression that Harris has a genuine passion for creating good music as opposed to the typical assemblage style of most dance tracks. This makes a difference - one can often tell aurally if a track has been composed and the personality and consideration apparent therein, which typically makes better music. An additional aspect of Harris’ work that I enjoy is the manner in which he transposes his music to the live medium openly and often. Here his tracks become true songs as opposed to dance music, which makes them more multifaceted and charismatic. This ability to convert Harris’ recorded music to live so effectively derives not only from the competent, layered musicality, but also the humorous, well structured lyrics. Whilst the choruses typically maintain repetitive, simple lines (e.g. “The Girls”), the verses and general narrative of Harris’ tracks have an enjoyable humour to them that is deeper and more engaging than your average dance track. This humour was especially notable in his first album I Created Disco, whose lyrics typically consisted of ironic but affectionate pastiches of general dance music concepts and cultures.


Unfortunately, this lyrical humour seems to have notably slipped from Harris’ new album. For example, whilst the title track does yield a certain playful nod towards weekend culture contextually speaking, the literal lyrics are essentially dry of humour. The first single from the new album “I’m Not Alone” was additionally devoid of drollery – although the lyrics to both releases do hold some depth and subtle poetry within them. A further negative aspect of this album is Harris’ liberal usage of best-forgotten 90s synth timbres. Many of these timbres are jagged, harsh, and aurally irritating, and often sound so dated they could have been excavated from the vaults of DJ Jean or Chicane. Whilst these sounds are literally poor midi shit-ness, they are also sonically reminiscent of the awful time for pop music that was the late 90s. Furthermore, these timbres work to entrench Ready for the Weekend purely within crap old commercial dance music camp, as opposed to something that engages with dance on a more innovative level.


On the whole then, I haven’t really warmed to this album, and whilst Harris obviously has considerable ability, I don’t personally feel it has been channelled in as an effect a way as his previous work.  Having said that, I must admit I have warmed to the “Ready for the Weekend” single. Though initially put off by the cheesy 90s style female chorus vocals, I really enjoyed the jaunty rhythm and fantastic piano timbre. Indeed, you could consider there to be a distinct amount of humour in this track instrumentally speaking at least. Furthermore, I must admit that when Harris’ first album came out, I was not really impressed with that first release either. It actually took me quite a while to truly get Harris’ appeal, that he wasn’t just trying to singlehandedly resurrect dance music. So maybe this album will grow on me – and I really hope it, ‘cause I have to admit, it feels like Calvin Harris does deserves it. But currently this really does feel like a weaker body of work, though of course if dance music is your thing, maybe you’ll get it a bit better than me. 

Article: The Problems with Brand Loyalty

Tesco have recently done a new line of adverts with a fake-real couple, whose very life seems to depend on the existence of said colossus. Obviously, these adverts are very bad, as indeed most adverts are. But even if I try to get past the fact that this “real” couple is made up of well know actors, I am still stuck with their awfully embarrassing, near stomach turning brand loyalty. This series of adverts essentially demonstrate an insane commercial dependency that’s ratio is severely biased towards simple stupidity, and not the supposedly intended hilarity of the couple’s shenanigans. I’m sorry to be so bloody serious, but they just piss me off. The absolute worst for me was a recent one regarding a humorous scene in which (get this) the family’s car runs out of petrol, so they trek for miles past perfectly good petrol stations to get to Tesco - the only place for them. Now, fair enough, this is supposed to be a bit tongue in cheek, but there is also a point behind it – that Tesco is really very bloody good, and you, viewer should take heed of this couple’s attitude and spend all the money you possible can at the store from now on. In short, it is attempting to encourage ever increasing brand loyalty toward the store and demonstrate such actions as essentially a good thing for you, for your life, for the world. 


When the topic of brand loyalty is portrayed in adverts generally, I however fail to see anything beyond idiocy. Such idiocy is evident in the portrayal of the couple in the above described advert, but actually I think such activities are generally for simple-minded people who are a little too easily influenced. To an extent of course we are all at some base level brand loyal; we all buy the same products again and again because it is easier, because we understand them, because we like them. This is fair enough; a lot of stuff is great and deserves to be bought, plus we are all busy and don’t always want to think about things and make decisions. But the actual concept of brand loyalty itself, and the utilization of it through consumer ignorance or commercial vulgarity is so so stupid. Why should we be brand loyal? Because they have served us so well, provided a personal service, even had a fucking clue who we are? Unlikely. Companies, shops, brands and the like typically exist to serve their own means – e.g. making as much cash as possible. Unless it is a small shop or company that provides a personal service, or have a genuine passion for their work and products, we don’t really owe them any kind of loyalty. In fact, they owe us for being their customers, keeping them in the green and all that. And yes, there are reward cards and special offers, but these are typically just devices to get us to spend yet more money with them. Coercion not rewards, for shame!


I suppose I could concede that it can be easy to get sucked into brand loyalty at times. There is often a halo of promotion around commodities that contribute to a life style that the consumer may or may not want to become involved in, which is dependent on how products are portrayed in magazines, shops and on telly, through both intended and unintended product placement. Indeed furthermore, everything we purchase is a brand of sorts; a product created by a company and sold in some way, however in discreetly, through that brand. This is discussed by Gisele Scanlon in of one of my current reads - The Goddess Experience. This quasi-magazine formatted book floats around the general topic of brands, brand loyalty and "The Want" , a term Scanlon has coined for when one see some commodity you inexplicably desire, regardless of price or necessity. Scanlon seems to relish the concepts of brands, loyalty and The Want without hesitation, stating that such notions are apt extensions and representations of ourselves - a declaration of our tastes and by proxy who we are. Scanlon likens this to a tribal code, a concept which is certainly evident within women’s fashion; whether you are part of the Prada, Topshop or Primark tribe is at least a significant representation of your style and taste (and the size of your wallet) for example. I certainly agree that there are aspects of brand selection that reflect personality; indeed your commercial choices can be as representative of yourself as your music or film tastes.


What I dislike from Scanlon however is her enjoyment of brand loyalty; her faith and near immersion in it is a bit disconcerting. She states that she buys into a brand because it gives her 'that warm fuzzy feeling', that 'this is me'. Surely at the very most a brand or commodity should be an aspect or reflection of your personality. How can a brand, as aged or complex as you like be a representation of a whole human being? I don’t really want to put my communism hat on, but has capitalism got that much of a grip that it can actually convince people that mere products or brands literally represent the epitome of a person’s very being? At the very most, the entire of collection of a person’s commodities and brand selections could direct one to educated presumptions on an individual’s personality. To believe in the personification of brands in a more devout manner is to become a fucking tool. This is most evidently exampled with Scanlon’s statement that when she finds a brand, she "adopt[s] it and wear[s] it like a badge". This is surely a degeneration of the brand term back to its predecessor meaning of branding property such as cattle. By wearing your chosen brand like a badge you are essentially reducing yourself to some uber-cheap employee or company lackey. Such notions are disconcertingly close to the bizarre adidas trouser trend of the late 1990s, when everyone who was anyone had to wear those awful polyester things in every disgusting neon/nylon creation imaginable. I mean what the fuck was that about? Those trousers were awful, yet everyone fucking wore them! I think this can be boiled down to the tribal thing: at school if you wore them you were accepted. But paying to essentially advertise shit sports wear is not that far away from paying thousands to parade around with your new Prada bag, no matter how you want to romantically define it inside your head.


So what have we learnt through this little stint, dear reader? That brands are evil succubuses and we should veto them completely for home grown, home made and the like? Well of course not, I’m not really a bloody communist. Brands are just there now, and thanks to Adam Smith and the Free Market, they will never go away. Capitalism has surreptitiously developed in a manner that not only encourages our greed, but also our satisfaction and pleasure. We want stuff, and this is the way their selling it to us has materialized. But please, I pray you, don’t fall into the trap of brand loyalty too lightly. Adverts will continue to plough the value of such actions into your brain, but it is total horse shit. From my perspective, of course, I think the vast majority of adverts are so bloody awful I can’t believe anyone actually falls for them, but advertising is apparently a multi billion pound/dollar industry, so there must be a lot of poor sods who really are thick enough to continue buying into this shit again and again. The bigger the brand, the more ubiquitous it becomes, both in our minds as consumers and in commerce generally. This ubiquity begets familiarity, which in turn begets loyalty. But as we know ladies, bigger doesn’t always mean better; compare the likes of ginormous brands like McDonalds, Smirnoff and Walkers, with smaller brands like Gourmet Burger, Stolichnaya and Tyrrells, for example. Diversify, try different things, spread your loyalty about a bit. And furthermore, don’t get stuck in the “lifestyle” honey trap. These shiny new things are not a part of you; they are more a means of getting to you, and your all important cash. Besides, much of the time brands are anonymous anyway. For example, do you know your brand of bed, light bulb, soap? Unless it is spelt out in massive letters upon or about your very person, who else knows the significance of the brand, its attitudes and ethics and why it speaks to you, why it defines you so perfectly. You must define yourself first, you special, unique, multifaceted, sentient being, you. The rest is just stuff.

Article: In Defence of Tom Jones

Earlier today I was perusing an infuriating article on the journalistic shithole that MSN often is, by the bloody un-marvellous Tom Townshend. The article in question was basically a list of overrated artists and groups in the music biz, which to my mind was just plain shit. Certainly, some of the additions to the list that he proffered are quite rightly more than a bit overrated (Duffy and The Verve, for example), but his method of criticism was truly awful. Too much opinion expressed as fact always gets on my nerves, but Townshend also changes his tack so much as to why something is overrated that it is disorientating to the reader as to whether such artists are really overrated or not. His critique of Morrissey is a good example here. Townshend fawns over Morrissey’s earlier work before going on to proclaim his later musical contributions as only ok. Not shit. OK. This may be, but in what way does that relate to his overrated-ness exactly? It would appear that Townshend doesn’t really know, and hence he cobbles together an accusatory finger firstly at Morrissey being a bit of a twat (a feature that has always been evident), and secondly that he has to employ session musicians to “massacre [his] greatest hits” as he is no longer in The Smiths.


Townshend additionally makes some awfully abusive comments re some artists, Tom Jones in particular. The essentials behind why Townshend feels Jones is overrated is for the base reason that he is a bit old. Criticising him for his “arthritic fingers” and grey hair has no relation to the quality of his music. Townshend further slags off Jones for his supposed shit voice. Are we listening to the same person? Tom Jones has still got a fantastic set of pipes, especially, if you will insist on bringing age into the equation, as he is 69. Personally it feels a bit like Townshend isn’t actually capable of perceiving music as fun and entertaining. Anyone who saw Tom Jones at Glastonbury this year could hardly say he is not a fantastic showman. The songs may not be deep, meaningful or fraught with some synthetic teenage-esque angst, but they are enjoyable, generation-spanning fun. It isn’t like the music industry is flooded with Tom Joneses nowadays, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but there is certainly still room for him. But anyway, I could rip an arse destroying hole through this Partridge of an article, (which can incidentally be found at http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/music/galleries/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=149239470), but as highly cathartic as it would be for me, it may be a bit boring for everyone else.


Unfortunately however, this article is just one example in a long line of shit music journalism I have encountered in the past few weeks. I do not typically frequent loads of music mags, as I feel they don’t really offer anything more than a predetermined, dull mixture of simultaneously devout criticism and brown nosing. The NME appear the worst for sure, typically offering the dawdlings of fickle, self-righteous, skinny, unsatisfying “young” men for easily influenced yet equally fickle younger men. But personally I find the yawn commencing, beard-facilitating, moaning old men of The Word, MojoUncut even worse. These time warp inducing mouldy old farts seem to find anything that doesn’t sound like it fell out of Bob Dylan or The Beatles’ backside an unfathomable load of rubbish. and


All this makes me feel quite bad. As a (essentially amateur) music critic (of sorts), I feel annoyed at the stagnancy of the music press, and their frequent inability to write well and actually about music itself. I also worry that in time I will turn into the same type of jaded bastard, with a completely discernable lack of talent, (if indeed, I am not already). Obviously any type of professional criticism is essentially down to opinion, but simply stating that something is shit purely because you don’t like it is for cheap, classless simpletons. I may express my opinion, but I always try to take an objective view of the music as my taste may not suit the target audience or target context. Take Radiohead, for example. I cannot stand Radiohead for the most part (although I must admit, I did quite like The Bends), but I can see their obvious musical ability and appeal. It would be foolish and short-sighted of me to criticise them purely on my personal feelings toward them and their music, when it obviously has significant music merit and purpose. Even their miserable bloody lyrics have value in certain depressive, melodramatic contexts.


From my perspective therefore, there are some key writing mistakes that are made by many a shit music journalist. They are as follows:


1.    Expressing opinion as fact. This is a key mistake, as critics are essentially being paid for their opinion. But unless opinion expressed as fact is done with lashings of irony, it is not cool. Don’t be an arrogant twat-bag. You and your opinion are not the fucking zenith.
2.    Confusing your dislike of the artist with how good the music is. Another cheap trick, often used by people who can’t actually write about music itself. There are a lot of doochbag musicians out there who make bloody good music, and whilst their personal opinions or antics may piss you off to high heaven, they are not their music. Certainly talk about them, as it adds an extra dimension to the writing, but do not make musicians music.
3.    Making sweeping statements without providing evidence or alternative. This is the worst and is typically done in columns. For example, there is a lot of talk in the music press about how bland music is at the moment. Personally I don’t see it, and so I am further annoyed by the fact that no explanation is given as to why the writer feels music is currently bland. Give examples, of why it is bland and what is better. Don’t just shit all over it, if something isn’t good enough don’t just complain – try and help fix it!


Ultimately I feel that the lack of proficient music critics out there is because music is a very personal thing, and one will always find it difficult to please everyone. But what we are stuck with at the moment is self-appointed popular music historians who really do think a bit too much of themselves, and take themselves too seriously, instead of people who can actually write about music. Certainly, writing about music is a very difficult thing to do, especially for a popular audience, and the inclusion of tit bits on the band in relation to the music is therefore of some importance. Magazines like The Wire discuss the music itself, for example, in a true, detailed and fascinating way, but it is also a way that is not easily navigable for your average Lily Allen fan. But there is no excuse for shit writing. Making obvious, shoddy mistakes in style, along with a weak, self-fulfilling argument just isn’t good enough anymore. The music press has been demising in sales and importance for years, probably because people are fed up of coming across typical critics; that is to say overly-disappointed, pedantic, sanctimonious, arrogant cunts. Give me job instead of them; I’m much better, I promise! X

Article: How I learned to stop worrying and love Lily Allen

Over the past few years or so, the quality of pop music in the UK has (in my humble opinion) improved dramatically. Much of this can be attributed to the influx of indie-pop crossover acts that began creeping out of the music industry’s figurative woodwork during the huge popularity of Franz Ferdinand and the Kaiser Chiefs mid decade. The pop scene has since become inundated by not only guitarists, but a variety of interesting instruments and devises that demonstrate a wonderful air of creative individuality, and a twist away from the always staid “Pete Waterman” style of pop music. Such events are incredibly refreshing for someone who grew up when the pop world was saturated by the likes of S club 7 and Boyzone, where much of the instrumentation was devised using the musical poison that is general midi. Within our new, noughties brand of quasi-pop, however, it is not just the instrumentation that has developed. There is a definite desire for talent, imagination and individualism, which is apparent in all the areas that surround music, from image to promotions to album art. This is evident with the likes of Hot Chip, The Joy Formidable and The Noisettes; a very brief but clear example of the difference between new endeavours and the manufactured style of pure pop (ala Girls Aloud, for example) that is seemingly in remission at present. 

An element of this new-new-pop that I am particularly relishing at the moment is the veritable flood of female performers within this new creative mode. It could be said that the more indie side of pop has typically disregarded female musical involvement for the past couple of decades, opting for traditional, rock derived all-male formats based on camaraderie and fraternity. At the moment however, indie pop has become almost overrun with female involvement in a manner reminiscent of the original new pop/new wave of thirty years ago. Now cool, trendy, sexy women are heavily involved in the music scene again in a creative, intelligent, aesthetically driven manner, playing instruments, fronting bands and writing songs. Women are adding a fresh, quirky twist by their mere presence as a creative entities; we are currently witnessing a joyous demise of women, intelligent or not, being utilised by the music industry as simply sexy voice boxes.

Examples of this are particularly apparent within the veritable deluge of female performers creating pop crossover acts. Over the past couple of years, the likes of Bat for Lashes, Florence and the Machine, Little Boots and Marina and the Diamonds have been creating some of the most interesting music in the charts instrumentally, but not only that, they have also demonstrated significant song writing abilities, with feisty, educated lyrics and topics. These girls get music, and evidently have a real passion, commitment to, and ability for it, but what is also noteworthy is the manner in which they present themselves. Whilst they (importantly) seem to maintain a lot of creative control, like true post-modern feminists they realise that image is still an important selling point for women. However, instead of oozing pure female sexuality that is often typical in pop music, these girls portray themselves in a way that embraces femininity in a true and loving, yet subtly ironic, sharpened manner. This is particularly well exampled by the work and nature of Lily Allen (who I now cannot help but love in spite of her often obtusely venomous attitude, especially toward poor old masculinity). This is also evident with pure pop females such as La Roux and Lady Gaga, (albeit with Roux and Gaga the talent and music is slightly more questionable than those other ladies previously mentioned).

Although this music has an obvious femininity, it maintains an edge to it that has a more broad unisex quality and appeal. It is not too girly, but simultaneously harbours a deep-seated strength that is truly feminine. They are and there are brilliantly positive examples of the female side of the race out there at present, offering female role models that have true ability, individuality and purpose. Their crossover qualities relate them to a variety of music styles, which lend them to the admirations of different tastes, although these women are mostly white, and black ladies in UK music are heavily underrepresented at present. Ultimately, however, musical women are currently at the top of their game, and are offering great role models for young women - that you can be more than just pretty. For once I am a bit envious of teenage girls; for once they have some quality to relate to.

Article: “Yeah, but they’re shit live”: why lack-lustre performances aren’t necessarily the worst thing

When discussing music, especially with musicians or musos, you often hear the above comment recited as though being a bit shit live is the ultimate musical condemnation. I myself have versed this criticism of supposed lack of talent on a number of occasions, although I must admit, it is often a cheap trick when I can’t be bothered to become involved in a more complex, informed criticism. Don’t get me wrong, being properly shit live is a right pain for the green giving audience; certainly everyone’s got the right to feel pissed off when you’ve coughed up for something special that turns out to be inferior, badly put together, broken or pissed. Additionally, the live performance can be a good marker of the actual musical ability of performers, and gives us struggling musicians something to unitedly bitch over. The Klaxons are a good example of this. When they popped up a couple of years ago, they (rather foolishly) expressed in the music press that they got together 6 months ago essentially because they felt like it, and that daddy very nicely bought them some lovely fender guitars in which to do it with. Regardless of the merit of their recorded work, it was quite satisfying to watch them completely cock up their live performances, and that they really needed to go home and practise that fret/key work just a little bit more.
Much of the slating of miscellaneous live performances is not however necessarily related to genuine shitness, musician inability or annoyance at being ripped off. From my perspective, many a “bad performance” is essentially based on a temporal lack of chemistry, either of the band or in the perceptions of the critic. There are worse things. Personally, I feel that a lack lustre album is a far greater crime than a disappointing live performance. My reasons for this are numerous. Firstly, if you want to ruminate over the monetary cost of a lost gig, the price of a CD (esp. an import or new release) is often similar to the live gig ticket price. Of course this excludes transport cost, and additionally if you will insist on paying an extortionate amount to see some pop fiasco at Wembley or the O2, well you have only yourselves to blame. But for a typical low key affair your looking at £10 - £15 quid, not that much more of an investment than a £10 CD. Secondly, you will typically intend to listen to an album perhaps hundreds of times in its various extrapolated forms over the years. Here, a far more extended, long term relationship is developed with the music, as opposed to the one-night-stand that gigs almost always are, and good albums therefore become worth their weight in gold.
Indeed, a lack lustre album is especially disappointing when your first encounter with some new talent is through an outstanding live performance. Failure to capture the magic of a group’s live work is more of a disappointment, especially when you have made a commitment to the actual purchase of a CD off the back of their live performance. The group Operator Please are good example of this. A couple of years ago, they did a fantastic live performance on Jools Holland, where true electricity and energy was evident even through the TV set. The studio album on the other hand simply failed to fully capture the young group’s veritable passion, and in fact I was so disappointed with the CD, I didn’t touch it for about 6 months. Once I had forgotten the details of the performance on Jools, I reacquainted myself with the CD, which is certainly a good album with good content. On a personal level therefore, as much of my exposure to new music occurs via the live medium (either at a gig or on the telly), if a group is smashing live but crap (or even ok) in the studio, one can be lead into disappointing, even questionable purchases that continue to clutter up my bedroom. Not cool.

Great Underrated Albums #1: Things to Make and Do – Moloko

This album, originally released in 2000, was probably the most commercially successful of Moloko’s four releases. However, whilst some of the derived singles achieved a certain amount of ubiquity in the afore mentioned year, throughout this decade, the album seems to have declined in popularity towards partial obscurity. Certainly, this demise is not warranted in relation to the musical content. Here, Moloko present us with a curious diversity of instruments, fusing a mixture of traditional guitars, violins and violas with a multiplicity of unconventional synth timbres. Numerous sonic layers are gently infused, yet separate. Moloko also utilize a positive abundance of effects, both subtle and overt - from copious varieties of reverb and compression, to backward tape effects and vocal transformations. Furthermore, the track lengths are also diverse, from “Keep Stepping” at 0.21 to “Sing it Back” at 9.20, which adds a supplementary degree of intrigue, and staves off format monotony for the listener.


It is also incredibly refreshing to hear different instruments taking different leads and different levels of precedence throughout the album. “Indigo”, for example, has drum and synth bass leads, whereas “Pure Pleasure Seeker” examples a prominent contra bass sax part, and even further, “Being is Bewildering” is mainly acoustic guitar with various organs. The numerous musical styles contained within this album is also something to hail as impressive; through their 70 odd minutes, the band progress though versionings of acoustic, funk, electro, muzak, rock, pop, classical, and quasi through to full on dance. The literal space of the tracks is changeable too, with saturated, heavy tracks, to lonely, sparse songs and segways.


An additional virtue, Roisin Murphy’s voice is gorgeously broad with a slight raspy quality; sometimes soft, delicate and sensual, at others whining, taught, and penetratingly, twistingly percussive. She also has a notable range, which she regularly utilizes. Furthermore, the content of her vocals are typically accomplished; lyrically Moloko’s work can be strong. Whilst the dancier numbers may have a bit more repetition than the average indie listener can tolerate, most of this album is lyrically assorted and interesting. “Absent Minded Friends” is a particular highlight.


This is a great album - a pure, fun little gem, which does not get the full recognition it deserves. The singles will probably be familiar to most, especially  “Sing it Back”, which although ridiculously massive at the time, is probably the weakest track on the album. But then again, it was the late 90s/early 00s, and dance was big news then. The rest of the album has occasional moments of weakness; the male vocal (sung by the other, relatively anonymous half of the Moloko duo, Mark Brydon) on “Someone Somewhere”, could be described as weak – certainly his vocals lack confidence. Personally however, I find it slightly endearing, and the rest of the track is sound. This is not necessarily an album for everyone – it twists and turns so much that many may be disappointed with certain elements. It is however an album I have continued to return to, relish and enjoy for nearly 10 years, and I feel it has many more juicy musical fruits to be unearthed by a wider audience.

Review: Kasabian, as a Band, Concept and Entity, with a Little bit on “The New One”

So Kasabian have a new album out, in case you didn’t know, which of course, you did. But what do you think of it? Well, personally, I find involvement in Kasabian, whether aurally or otherwise, is always fraught with difficultly. After much, deliberation, I have determined that this difficulty I experience is related to the band themselves, and not their literal sonic output. Musically, the group’s work is typically quite interesting, utilizing an array of instruments, styles and effects, intermingled with what is clearly impeccable production . Indeed, as their music has progressed temporally, they (or their management) have clearly poured more and more money into the production of their work. This is certainly evident with the lead track from the new album, “Fire”, which is very tight, with delicately exacted levels, and dirty-clean effects. Instrumentally, the track is good too, with subtly enjoyable guitar parts, and detailed percussive aspects. I like this track. I also don’t mind the video. Its ok. Although it does rip off the guitar/gun amalgamation from The Darkness’ “Growing on Me” video a bit shamelessly.




    But I digress. The main reason I find Kasabian a confounding sonic experience is related to the general atmosphere that surrounds them, an over-current of what I can only describe as profoundly arrogant, nasty “Ladishness”. This attitude is conveyed to me not only through their fan base (often 15-40 year old men) and their celebrities cohorts (the Gallagher’s), but within the music too, especially Mehighan’s vocals. An aspect I find always annoying, his vocals never fail to have a constricted, vowel inflected, nasal quality that seems to be constantly sneering in a near-incomprehensible manner, not necessarily aggressively, but typically disenchanted in an arrogant, supposedly dry quality I can only describe as “northern”. This may seem slightly inaccurate geographically as the band hail from Leicester, not the true north past Manchester. However, there are certainly reminiscence of northern and especially Manchester (AKA Oasis-derived) vocal styles which are analogous and representative of a certain type of man, which Kasabian’s work is very difficult to separate from. On a personal level, I must say I really can’t stand that certain type of northern men’s attitude to masculinity being very simple, yet immensely hard work. A contradiction in terms, this is the attitude that its great to be a bloke, that men-are-really-the-best-though-you-cant-say-that-no-more-cause-of-bloody-femininism, the men should be men and women should be women, you know, all that 1970s’ shit. I’m not necessarily accusing Kasabian of harbouring these values, although hanging off the Gallagher brothers’ coat tails is not really working in their defence. Such observations of their sonic reminismances to (hopefully) becoming-archaic forms of masculinity are clearly not an original connection I have solely made; the band has been frequently referred to as a lad’s band by many commentators, and the obvious musical relations to Oasis often work to cement this further. The labels of Lad-band or Madchester dervitives have been well publicized as an interpretation that Kasabian wish to distance themselves from. In their defence, their music isn’t overtly masculine (disregarding the vocals of course), and their publicity contains numerous shots of them looking wistful and troubled. However, much of this said publicity is also rife with an almost laughable arrogance and pretentiousness, that seems to find the band genuinely relating themselves to what is easily interpreted as Pre-Raphaelite style, opium laced poets meets the French revolution via The Death of Marat. Its not necessarily a bad thing to draw from a variety of influences, but Kasabian certainly seem to do so a manner that quite honestly seems to drip with smugness over their own imagination and innovation as the self-proclaimed ‘heretics of British rock’ . And of course, all this arrogance is, dare I say it, another lad-ish quality.


    Musically speaking, once again, Kasabian’s music is also often riddled with further blatant influences. “Shoot the Runner” from their Empire album, for example, sounds just like Led Zeppelin plus 35 years of technology. Not that there’s anything wrong with rip offs; its very difficult to not impress your influences on your own work, but don’t be arrogant twats about how innovative you think your work is. I do not however want to detract from their general musical abilities; as previously stated, they clearly have moderately innovative musical minds and their music often has interesting instances and instrumentation. A personal favourite was the track “Empire” from their 2nd album, where the string/drone-esque parts were interesting both timbrally and melodically. The chorus line was relatively catchy too. “Club Foot” was also worthy of credit, with an aggressive, yet jaded sonic attitude that is easily compared with Elbow’s “Grounds for Divorce”, (in my opinion more successful track).


Their new album seems in reality to be similar in its essential musicality, but they do show further instrumental experimentation and musical progress that should be applauded, especially in a world where many pop-rock musicians tend to stick to the often-staid bass-guitar-drums format. Certainly, Kasabian can at times be rather refreshing. However, in the grand scheme of things, they are not all that innovative, and I personally don’t feel that their music is ultimately, fundamentally, brilliantly different. Their influences are blatant, and even a bit cliché at times. Indeed, there are often influences/references I’m not sure are even intentional; “Vlad the Impaler”, for example, instrumentally sounds like 80s Matchbox B-Line Disaster meet The Mighty Boosh, without the humorous de-tour to “Nanageddon”. A further album track, “Fast Fuse”, is embarrassingly close to the 12-bar blues, always a musical cop-out barely worth album filler.


So ultimately my review of West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum (I know what a great name – aren’t they so intense and clever?) is much like my review of them – work is good, but attitude must be improved. End of report.

Review: The Joy Formidable, on their music and a little bit on their musical ethics

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